That's a LIE!
by A Dead Fish
Summary: Never believe what you read on the internet ... well, and according to Hermione, never trust what you read in the stars too, but that's another story. [Fleurmione, OneShot, Post-War]


Random prompt fill again. It has to do with stars again, but it's slightly different.

Hermione and Fleur finding out that their star signs says they're incompatible. Nothing is accurate in this fanfic, don't take my word for it.

Any of you guys use tumblr? I need people to follow, some friends too, anyone?

* * *

Hermione was someone who liked to believe that she alone was the only person who can control her destiny, fate, and anything in between. Certainly, Fate would try and throw a wrench in most of her plans, but the brunette had handled it well. Taking a look at Exhibit A, her entire school life, she liked to think that Fate honestly had nearly no hand in her life.

Until Fleur Delacour of course. The French woman was welcomed in her life though, a gift from Fate herself even. Maybe it was Fate's idea of a 'Good Job' gift for going through all that shit.

Accepting Fleur into her life was … surprisingly easy. The two had a few bumps to smoothen out in the beginning, but they were both assertive people, supportive, intelligent, confident … they just had so much in common, they already understood the 'why's, the excuses, the reasons they would give.

However, Hermione was still a stubborn thing. Her heart may have accepted the fact that Fleur was the one for her, that the French woman was nothing short of perfection itself, but her head was a whole other matter. Surely, Fleur _looked _perfect, sounded like her other half and certainly acted so whenever the two were together … but were they truly compatible?

Now, Hermione was no expert in divinations, it was - after all - a waste of her time, silly … and something she wished she had paid even a speck of attention to. Now, her girlfriend had a good eye for the stars and seeing the future … as did most of her relatives, but they'd probably rig the results, so Hermione had no choice but to rely on muggle technology.

Having studied at a magical school for all her life, Hermione wasn't too sure whether or not the answers were entirely accurate, but what else did she have to go with? She refused to turn to anyone else; this was a private matter, and she'd be damned if anyone caught her doing something … as foolish as this.

So, with a blanket thrown over her head, Hermione sat cross legged on their (Hermione and Fleur's) bed with a tiny laptop in her lap. The screen was bright, even when Hermione had set the brightness at the lowest level. She didn't dare to set some spell on it to reduce the volume … who knows what might happen?

Now, here the brunette was, surfing on the web with seven tabs open. Some were from tumblr, some of them were random sites for reading stars, horoscopes … just what she was looking for.

Scrolling through one of the sites, Hermione silently scrolled until she found her own sign. Virgo, as she was born on September 9th.

Knowing that she was alone in the room, Hermione quietly muttered each sentence out to herself, she gave the entire page a scroll, just to measure the length of it before she started at the top.

"Virgos born on September 9th are perfectionists," and she paused. Stifling a laugh, Hermione only nodded to herself, that was one thing that she - and many friends - would say about the brunette more often than not. Continuing, "a fact that infuriates everyone around them, expect amazing physical stamina from them but beware of the potential emotional turmoil that may occur with their perfectionist nature."

… Well, at least it hadn't outright insulted her and the many others born on that day. She was a perfectionist, and people were annoyed by that. Logical. That part about her physical stamina though … debatable, completely debatable. Ron and Harry, or maybe her former classmates would give one answer, but she knew well enough that Fleur Delacour would give a completely different answer.

"They fall out with family members at an early age … oh wait, this is for parents," the brunette muttered, though that first sentence did bring up memories of her entire childhood … which was away from Britain itself and at Hogwarts instead. "Very healthy, active lifestyle, easy to injure, tension headaches … God damnit, you'd think Fleur wrote this or something." Hermione chuckled under her breath as she scrolled down.

"Anyone born on this date are achievers. They don't wait, they jump and take opportunities when they appear. Type A behavior … no second place … burnout," now frowning, Hermione was seriously wondering if Fleur actually wrote all this up. It was … pretty accurate? Which shouldn't happen. Hermione knew first hand that the stars shouldn't be telling people anything _THIS _accurate.

So, knowing where to settle the score - so to say - she scrolled right down to the 'relationship' section.

Now, early into the relationship, Hermione made sure to get all of Fleur's information. The one she made note to remember though was the blondes birthday, so easily, she connected the dots and drew up Fleur's star sign before hitting the 'Get Results' button for the two of their signs.

"...They think they have nothing in common in the beginning, Aries is brash, fiery, dominant aggressive … Virgo is detail orientated, quiet, shy, hard worker. In the beginning, they see nothing but each others' flaws, if they focus on their strengths instead, they'll get to discover so much about each other…"

Suddenly, the blanket that had been pulled over Hermione's head was pulled off, the heavy cloth rolled right off, leaving Hermione's head feeling a little light, and a little cold. In her surprise though, Hermione hardly noticed and instead turned her head right around her shoulder and found herself trapped, looking into clear blue eyes instead.

"What are you doing, 'Ermione?" Fleur asked. The silvery blonde woman had her knees on the edge of the bed, her head rested upon Hermione's right shoulder, looking over to look at the laptop screen. As the French woman's eyebrows knit together in slight confusion, her arms began to snake their way around the younger woman's waist. "What is zis?"

"Fleur, I'm just … reading," Hermione offered lamely, wincing at the horrible lie herself. Under her ear, she heard the blonde huff, probably hiding an unladylike snort, "Really, I was just reading up some things, for education?"

Scoffing, Fleur brushed aside Hermione's hair to the other shoulder as she leaned even further down the brunette's shoulder. "What about?" She went on to ask, seeing through the white lie. "I find it hard to believe you have enough time to be reading for fun … not when you're always complaining about not getting enough sleep and getting headaches," she huffed.

"And whose fault is that?" Hermione replied, tossing a half-hearted glare at the part Veela. "Fine. I'm just reading up on some star sign compatibility."

"Between us?"

"Yeah. You and me, Aries and Virgo." Hermione confirmed.

Now interested, Fleur released her hold on Hermione and shuffled beside the brunette. The blanket was left to the side, forgotten as the blonde kept Hermione warm enough with her body heat alone. Fleur took the laptop, and began to read as well. The two began to read in silence and before they knew it, they were finished.

"That … was rather accurate," Fleur said at last, "scarily so. That cannot be right, are there other ones?" she asked, nudging Hermione's arm while her other hand pointed at the screen. While the blonde was aware of muggle contraptions, she had not had the chance to actually use any of them. As per Hermione's countless orders.

"Yeah, I have seven other ones up, let's go through them all."

* * *

That turned out to be mistake. A wrong move. A plot twist that Hermione did not see coming. Actually, it was probably Fate trying to be cute again, she really should've seen this coming.

"Zat is not possible!" Fleur groaned beside her, her arms clinging onto Hermione's rather painfully, "'Ermione! These are lies! All lies!" the blonde went on, tugging and pulling Hermione's arm harshly.

"Er … well, yeah. I guess they're not _that _accurate," Hermione replied, though … taking another read at the twelfth result they searched up. It was a little different from the rest, and Hermione had pulled up two separate tabs to complete the quiz and results.

On one screen, Hermione was put through a small quiz - just to confirm that she was in fact, a Virgo. From her natural responses and with the provided information in the previous twelve sources, Hermione had easily aced it. Fleur, while having read through the same sources, was just … more independent, to say in a word, and only relied on her instincts to get through.

That wasn't the problem though, Fleur made it through just fine.

The problem was when Hermione went to see if their signs were compatible.

"What does it mean, 'I'm outrageous'?!" Fleur went on, glaring at the screen, "I'm hardly dramatic, or demanding … right 'Ermione?" she turned to the brunette, who immediately nodded. Hermione had to give the blonde that, she was actually rather tame, especially when compared to say … one Ginny Weasley. The only 'outrageous' thing with her girlfriend was her supernatural beauty - natural beauty, actually.

"And look! Careless, childish … how dare they!?"

"Aw, I don't think you're childish, Fleur," Hermione replied, trying her hardest to not let a single giggle slip. It would start the Third Great Wizarding War if she did. Instead, she turned her head and latched her lips onto Fleur's. This seemed to calm the blonde, and Hermione, as the desire to laugh faded slowly with every second. "You're perfect Fleur, all that makes you the woman I love," she added honestly.

Fleur seemed to straighten up at that. Proud, for sure, and loved, until she took a second to run through Hermione's words. "Wait. 'All that', 'Ermione! How could you?!"

"No, no! I didn't mean it like that!"

* * *

"... Fleur, ma petite, why are you pouting?" Apolline asked, amused, as she crossed her arms in front of her. At her age, Apolline looked young, her hair remained blonde, her limbs were hiding away muscles and strength that lied underneath the skin. Honestly, Fleur often had the feeling that her mother had never aged since the day she laid her eyes on her - when she was four.

"I am not pouting," the grown French woman replied, lying on the couch. She took up all of it, not that she cared at the moment. Hermione was seated on another couch by herself. Without a pillow, since Fleur took them all. "I am tired," she added as a defense for herself.

"Darling, you're more than tired," Hermione replied to that, and while she sounded sincere, Fleur knew better. Hermione was probably laughing at her in her mind, she could hear it. No, her Veela definitely heard it! "Make room, why don't you sleep on my lap?" She asked, moving to get off the couch.

Standing behind the couch, Apolline sent an approving glance at the brunette and Fleur cursed them both in her mind. Hermione was being mean, and acting like the perfect mate. Her mother wouldn't know how mean her Hermione had been hours ago. Life was cruel.

Defiantly, Fleur turned around, giving Hermione her back as she pouted into the couch. Above her, Apolline glared down - and yes, Fleur felt it, it sent shivers down her spine even - and poked a long finger into Fleur's cheek. "Child. Your mate is offering comfort, don't be a little shit,"

Shocked, Fleur turned up to face her mother who only smirked down at her. Hermione took this chance to lift Fleur up partially, only to crawl onto the couch before setting the blondes head back down, onto her thighs.

"There we go, better?" Hermione asked, looking down to Fleur's clear blue eyes that were still looking up, where her mother's smirking face had been.

"... Oui." Fleur sighed out at last as the younger womans fingers ran through her hair. It was a terrible weakness Fleur had, the feeling of fingers running through her blonde mane. While it was not as impressive as Hermione's mane of brown and light orange strands, it was fluffy enough at times to pass off as a mane anyway.

"Now, care to share why the two of you stormed all the way here?" Apolline asked, raising an eyebrow. "You two haven't sent any warning, so I'm assuming this was a last second thing."

Hermione nodded sheepishly, "Fleur rushed out in a hurry … I just followed," she replied.

And how dare she, making it seem like it was all Fleur's fault.

"You were the one who was being mean," Fleur replied, through slurred English. Oh, Hermione's hands were proving to be quite a distraction. Skillful one too. "I figured my mother would comfort me … not glare down at me," she added, tilting her head further up to glare at her mother who did not look fazed at all. Shame.

"And you were the one being silly. You can't honestly think that those stars really mean anything, right?" Hermione replied, as her hands stilled. The brunettes other hand ran up and took hold of the French woman's jaw. "Fleur, you silly Veela, I didn't mean to laugh at you, but you can't be serious. Me and you, we're meant to be. The stars aren't going to charge that, no matter what anyone says." Hermione spoke carefully, staring into the deep blue eyes.

Still pouting, Fleur remained silent, though her arms raised themselves and wrapped around Hermione's neck, pulling the brunette down into a liplock. Above them, Apolline only chuckled quietly, knowing better than to interrupt them, though she did want to call her daughter stupid. Or the like. The argument was definitely stupid, it wasn't even an argument for god's sake.

Apolline then turned on her heel to leave, her job was done. Oh wait, on a second thought …

"I hope the two of you know better than to do anything on that couch. Or anywhere in this house. If you must continue, go home. Or your grandmother will catch the two of you," she warned.

Sadly, the two were way too into each other to pay heed to Apolline's warnings. The two remained wrapped up in each other, kissing, grabbing, and cuddling … even when Adelheid arrived.

Sitting through two days of talks of marriage, babies, sexual positions, flying, more sexual positions, ancient rituals, and - shocker - even more sexual positions, Hermione and Fleur were determined to never have another stupid argument again. Or at least they both learned to not run off to France whenever they were in the middle of a stupid argument.

* * *

Goodnight. Review, Favorite, do what you have to do.

Oh, before anything. I made a tumblr. If you're interested in some fan art, some fanfics, reblogs of other femslash stuff, would you consider following me? I'll give it out depending on responses.

Until then, guys. Stay safe, take care.


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